S.O.S.

It has been raining almost non-stop for days now. Rent is due again, and June soon approaches ...

My half-brother Myron left me a phone message some time when I was last @ my Mom's. Just his digits and the message to call him. First time I have heard from him though my sister told me he had moved back from Toronto, perhaps last year or longer. My life – and apartment are both too messy right now to have anybody coming in presently. So, I haven't returned the call. I feel bad about it.

Had to complain on my upstairs neighbors yesterday. They were making even more noise than usual, and @ only 9:00-ish in the morning ...! Left a message on my landlords' machine. Got a call later when they returned home from work. Too stressed out, I slept the time off, and I do mean sleep ...It was sometime the next day, pm when I got up, after taking one of the strong sleeping pills/anti-depressants I got when I was @ Mom's! When I played back my landlords' return message, I was surprised, but pleased, non-the-less to learn that the noisy MacKenzie's up stairs had already been evicted and should be gone in about ten days!!! Hmmmm.... wonder what happened ... not paying their rent maybe ...? Wow ...!

So, because they have to go, what, they're making whatever noise they want 'cuz they're already on their way out? There is something about those people ... those people whom I never really got to know ...

GETTIN' AWAY WITH MURDER

Every time I try to write on this thing with my new computer, seems something goes wrong before I can fully publish and I end up losing my text. One computer problem after the next. It's really starting to stress me out!

Watching the soaps on tape, now in the am. On One Life To Live the closeted, shifty, GAY DA is about to be sworn in as Lt Governor. But perennial good-guy police Commissioner Bo Buchanan appears -- to
discreetly confront and arrest him for his other, more recent occupation ... that of murderer!

Talk about doing everything to keep a secret ...

WHAT CAN I SAY?

"A hidden connection is stronger than an obvious one."

Heraclitus


Where have I been these past few days? Oh, just hanging low, trying to get the computer up and running right. There have been some problems right away ... I can't even say all has been corrected, but I solider on anyway.

I have been inside for a few days too many, just outside enough to check my mail. When I get stuck inside alot of bad things can happen. Yet I always seem to fall back to it easily. Hmmmmmm?

ALWAYS SOMETHING THERE TO REMIND ME

Oh why oh why must life be so damned difficult? Now I would have said HARD but haven't been that in too long a time (he he) ...

The mood: ? Exhausted, feeling a little abused by family duties; and sweaty. What day is this? Is it the season finale of WILL AND GRACE? Ah, oh .... right ... that's tomorrow ... I need a boyfriend sooooo bad, folks. Honest, I really do, and I haven't been laid in over a year now, and that one was a true surprise. Who woud have seen that coming? A youngblood -- which just goes to show can't always judge a book by it's cover. (Except maybe if it's a Jackie Collins -- much love!) Anyway, a younger lover is not necessarily a bad thing for a man. Certainly keeps the body working.

Back home tomorrow. Been away at my mother's for too long now. Only in the sense that I do need my own life, but hey, is not recognizing the problem half the cure .... or something like that? Got to get back to the noisy Mackenzies upstairs with their boot wearing, loud running (maybe) daughters. Got to hook up/configurate my own new computer. Love helping Mom out but seeems she is starting to use me perhaps just a little bit. Like so many before. But, like I said, love doing things for her, if she cannot do them, but get this go there and pick up the thing next to the thingamigjig?!!!! Little tasks too take their toll. I need to put my garbage out tomorrow night, and then there is the other issue of a new house resident who has two large mena-looking dogs! Not my style. I'm the senior resident, the fool living at the location the longest and that should grant me something, right? What, I don't quite know. Certainly not a boyfriend ... Certainly not respect.

What's on TV tonight?

Lord, I miss Toronto. The streets .... The freedom ... My heart longs for that City. There is always something there (in my heart) to remind me ...

Of the good times, and the bad times too.

Of the BLACK
THE WHITE
AND THE LONELY COLOUR BLUE ...